Laziness

The past week I've been so lazy. I have been cleaning up around the house. I have been going to work. I have been going out with friends. What I have not been doing is spending time in the Word like I had been. It's not like I was pouring over the Bible for hours a day, but I was reading at least some scripture daily, working on a bible study, reading a book on prayer. Even as I sit here, I feel as though I need to get back on track.....not because God is mad at me or out of some kind of religious duty....I truly miss that closeness and intimacy that I feel when my day is started with Him.

I think part of the reason I've drifted away from my reading is because it's really been hitting me how much I've been applying what I read to other people and not to myself. I would love to say that I'm taking those amazing words about patience, perseverance, love, hospitality -- and applying them to someone I love. But to my own shame, I'm using scripture to say "so and so doesn't do this or that". It makes me feel absolutely sick inside. It honestly brings tears to my eyes.

I do have a glimmer of hope beyond this negative attitude that has been creeping into my mind. All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. All things. I believe the Lord has magnified my awareness of this judgmental attitude that is in my heart -- so I can see it how he sees it. It makes him feel sick to see his children even think of each other that way. It hurts when the light shines on your own darkness.