My Word for 2012 - Courage

Inspired by Mandy Steward at Messy Canvas, I thought and prayed and realized that I do have a word for 2012.  My word really did pick me.  I tried to run away from my word. I gave myself other suggestions but as I began to research my word, I realized I should embrace it.  The (not) ironic part about my word is that I don't really like the idea of sharing it with people.

That amazing Spirit spoke to me, told me my word is courage, and that I'm sullen and too thoughtful (to the point of not acting) and that I should "go for it".  If I'm sullen, it made me wonder if my word should be "joy". This really didn't make sense to me, so I began to search the words sullen and courage online and found a few things that opened my eyes to my current state of being.  For me cowardly is not the opposite of courage... sullen is my opposite, in a figurative sense.

I found this excerpt written by James Matthew Barrie, written around 1922 (emphasis mine):

In so far as this attitude of yours is merely passive, sullen, negative, as it mainly is, despairing of our capacity and anticipating a future of gloom, it is no game for a man or woman.  It is certainly the opposite of that for which I plead. Do not stand aloof, despising, disbelieving...  we have shown a good deal of courage; and your part is to add a greater courage to it.  There are glorious years lying ahead of you if you choose to make them glorious.  God's in His heaven still.

This was my first clue as to how sullenness relates to courage. I was then reminded of Fiona Apple and her song, Sullen Girl. The first verse does reflect me in ways right now.

Days like this, I don't know what do do with myself
All day and all night
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
I say to myself
I need fuel to take flight

Sullen from the World English Dictionary

1. unwilling to talk or be sociable, sulky, morose
2. (literary) sluggish

Synonyms: glum, cheerless

Wow, how all of these describe me.  So long, 2011.

Convoy of Hope - Haiti

In case any of you are considering a monetary way to help Haiti, I recommend Convoy of Hope as one of your options. Convoy of Hope has been working with Haitians for quite some time and were able to immediately disseminate 50,000 meals after the earthquake, along with water and medicine. Water purification units are also being implemented.

Like many of you, I'm not in the place to make a sizable donation. I encourage you to consider making a small donation to your charity of choice on a monthly basis for a set amount of months. I will be making a small donation to Convoy of Hope for the next 10 months. I think that spreading out my donation will also help me to remember to keep the people of Haiti in my prayers and remember that there is much work to be done after the shock of this disaster has worn off a bit.

Keep Haiti in your prayers and I hope all is well with you and yours!

2010 An Intentional Life

I have had a lot on my mind the past few months...so much so that I've defaulted to not doing all I should be doing to take care of myself and keep my life running smoothly. I saw someone had created a vision board on a blog that I read and I remembered that I made one last year that helped me keep a little focus...at least for the first part of 2009! (Scrapblog is a wonderful tool for a dream/vision board.)

I realize more and more that we have to create our lives. I do trust God in that process but I can't sit and wait. I have to actively be who I want to be. Laziness and lack of motivation is a constant battle for me. I know I could be worse (I do have my bursts of productivity) but I don't like the inconsistency. I want to be more consistent, if even in the smallest of ways.

I'm ready for a little change!

True Woman Make-Over: Update 3

Yesterday was day 21 of the True Woman Make-Over series. Day 20 was the last day of teachings on 1 Timothy 2:9-10. Overall, I believe the teaching was great, but I don't agree with some of the stipulations of modesty that were discussed because they seemed to be more opinion based. I do know that there are some things I need to work on concerning having a modest heart, attitude and appearance.

For the last 10 days of this series, I will be studying Titus 2:1-5 (NASB).

1 But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine.

2 Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,

4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

You can click on the picture above to see the teaching for day 21 on sound doctrine. If you are interested in the entire teaching on Titus 2, you can click here: God's Beautiful Design for Women: Living Out Titus 2:1-5, to see the teaching from the beginning.

30 Day True Woman Make-Over

True Woman Make-Over: Update 2

Day 11

I am truly being blessed through this series with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I thought that we would only be using her teaching for the first 10 days, but it looks like this whole True Woman Make-Over is a project of Revive Our Hearts, which is Nancy Leigh DeMoss' ministry to women.

Even though I am outside of the home for over 60 hours a week, I have found that I do have time to serve God within in my home. Simply being appreciative of what I have been blessed with and praying God will help me to be the wife that my husband needs has gone a long way.

It has helped my husband immensely during a rough time in his life, just by me giving more to him. He has done sooo much for me this week to show his appreciation, like doing more household work since I am out of the house so often. Not that he never did chores, but he is more willing to help, since I am doing more in keeping the house nice. Praise the Lord!

Tonight I will listen to today's teaching from her series "The Attractive Christian Woman: Women in the Church".

1 Timothy 2:9-10 {NASB}

9 Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments,

10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.

I am interested to hear what she has to say about this as I never really took this verse exactly literal, especially concerning the braided hair.

True Woman Make-Over: Update 1

I'm being reminded that as you receive teaching, you must take what is true and let go of what is merely opinion.
I am enjoying this study of Proverbs 31 but I must admit that I have come across a few sayings of Nancy Leigh DeMoss, that just don't sound right to me. True Woman Make-Over uses her teaching for the first 10 days of this 30 day make-over.

I think I know what she means on some of things that stick out to me, it's just how she says it that bothers me.

I thought I would use this as an opportunity to remind myself and anyone reading this, to always check what you are reading by the scriptures...no matter what you read or learn.


I really loved what she said here:

That word virtuous or excellent is a difficult word to translate from the original Hebrew language. The word has to do with strength. It’s often translated “army” or “wealth.” It’s talking about a woman of moral strength, a woman whose character is strong.

A woman who has godly character is a strong woman. The world would have us think that a godly woman is a weak woman who just gets run over, and she never has any opinions, never has any thoughts, never says anything. This is how the world would caricature the godly woman.

The world has it all wrong. The godly woman is a strong woman. She’s able. She’s valiant. She’s a woman of valor.

Social Work

Have you ever thought about being a social worker? Check out the link above, where you can explore the very different careers of 50 social workers.

Jobs in social work range from working at the:
individual clinical level to
management and administration to
education and research to
legislation and policy and
community organizing and advocacy

To see a range of other issues that social workers work within check out Social Workers: Help Starts Here.

I will be graduating with my BSW this May! Some areas I am interested in working in include:
healthy parenting
eating disorders
stress management
healthy lifestyles
disability issues
HIV/AIDS issues

Within those areas, I would like to work at the community organizing and advocacy level or work directly with individuals or groups in a clinical setting.

True Woman Make-Over

Recently, I've been hearing a lot about biblical womanhood and femininity. It's been a blessing to me to apply some of these scriptures to my life more consciously and I plan on spending more time studying these ideas. Today, I happened to come across a link to the 30-day True Woman Make-Over.

I will be reading Proverbs 31 for 30 days in a row while going through a guided study of the proverb. I believe the study also includes spending some time in 1 Timothy 2:9-10, and Titus 2:1-5.

Proverbs 31 {NASB} (I'll be reading the entire proverb daily but for the purpose of the blog, I'll quote from v10 on.)

10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

13 She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.

14 She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.

15 She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.

18 She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.

20 She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.

26 She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

27 She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

29 "Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."

30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

31 Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.

The James Challenge

I will be participating in The James Challenge, and I'm so excited! For quite a while I've pondered on the benefits of memorizing scripture, but haven't dedicated very much time to the practice.

My goal is to memorize James 1 in the next 9 weeks. At that point I will decide whether to continue or not. I've memorized verse 1 today.

James 1:1 NASB
James, a bond-servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes who are dispersed abroad: Greetings.

I will be using a method used by John Piper, from his book, When I Don't Desire God. Sara from Walk Slowly, Live Wildly mentioned this method in her post. You read the scripture 10 times, then you repeat it from memory 10 times (peeking if you need to). You add the previously learned scripture to your new scripture daily.

Go by the Walk Slowly, Live Wildly blog if you are interested in taking part of this challenge with a community of others. She has created a Yahoo group to host discussion.

Full Schedule!

A few weeks ago, I typed up a rough-draft schedule to follow once my internship got started. I knew I would be sooo busy, and the only way to get everything done and still be somewhat sane was to follow a schedule. I started following it last week, before my internship started, to help me transition. My internship ended up beginning today, a week after I had expected and I didn't keep up with following my new routine.

I came across the Biblical Womanhood blog, and decided to set a goal, based on the Rising Early blog post.

My goal is to stick to my schedule as closely as possible. I've made a few tweaks, that involve me going to bed earlier some nights, than I had originally planned.

So, here is THE schedule!
Mon
Wake 6:30a
Yoga 6:30-7:15a
Get Ready for Day 7:15-8a
Smoothie Breakfast 8-8:15a
Breakfast & Prepare for Dinner, Pack lunch
Leave for Internship 8:40a
Internship 9-5
Bible Study 6:30-8:30p
Sleep 10:30p

Tues
Wake 6:30a
Personal Devotion 6:30-6:50a
Yoga 6:50-7:10a
Get Ready for Day 7:10-7:55a
Breakfast & Prepare for Dinner, Pack lunch
Leave for Internship 8:40a
Internship 9-5
Work 6-9p
Sleep 10:30p

Wed
Wake 6:30a
Yoga 6:30-7:15a
Get Ready for Day 7:15-8a
Smoothie Breakfast 8-8:15a
Leave for Class 8:45a
Class 9-11:50a
Work 1-2p
Pack for overnight
Work 3-5:30p
Bible Study 6:30-7:45p
Work 8p-7a
Sleep 10:30p

Thurs
Wake 6:30a
Personal Devotion 6:30-7a
Yoga 7:05-7:25a
Get Ready for Day 7:25-8:10a
Breakfast & Prepare for Dinner, Pack lunch
Leave for Internship 8:40a
Internship 9-5p
Work 6p-7a
Sleep 10:30p

Fri
Wake 6:30a
Personal Devotion 7:30-7a
Yoga 7:05-7:25a
Get Ready for Day 7:25-8:10a
Smoothie Breakfast 8:10-8:25a
Breakfast & Prepare for Dinner, Pack lunch
Leave for Internship 8:40a
Internship 9-5p


Sat
Chores
Errands

Sun
Wake 8a
Get Ready for Day 8-8:40a
Church/Prayer/Cleaning/Lunch 9-1p
Groceries
Dehydrator Prep, Seed/Nut/Grain Soak
Make Salads for 5 Days Lunch
Work 5-6p
Work 8-9p
Sleep 10:30p

Book Giveaway

Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others is being given away at the link posted below. Post a comment to have a chance to win the book! Lindsey will be hosting a book study on this book, beginning in February, so if you don't win, but are interested, check back in at her blog!

Practicing Hospitality Study & Giveaway!

Vision Board 2009

Inspired by Bunny on RawFu, I created a Vision Board for 2009. I've become lazy over the past month. I don't have a lot of specifics in my goals, because when I get super specific I set myself up for failure. But basically I want to spend more time seeking Jesus, doing yoga, and eating salads and smoothies. Each aspect is an important part of my spirituality. This is a simple start. I may do some more vision boards that each focus in on these and other aspects of my life.

I do have some goals that are more specific, but for now, I'm keeping that part to myself.

Feeling Down

Feeling down right now...I hate that usually the first thing I want to do when I feel like this is go buy food. I don't even consciously think, "if I go out to eat, I'll feel better". I was sitting here moping and all of a sudden vegetarian sushi sounded soooo good. But I don't have money to spend. And I don't want to have to buy something to make me feel better. So, I'm distracting myself by blogging about it and hoping that by the time I am done with this entry, I will crave something that we already have in the house.

....Nope, I don't crave something else, but have let myself realize that it is much more practical to stay home. Each time I can pull in the reins a little, I can learn how to better deal with my stress and emotions.
Plus, I'm soothing myself with the thought that I get to go grocery shopping later today or tomorrow and I can buy food to make yummy recipes then!

He Just Wanted Me to Tell Him

So yesterday I finally confessed about the problem I had been having while reading the scripture. Confession is the first step to repentance. I knew God knew. But he wanted me to talk to him about, to come to him and say, I'm sorry, I messed up.

I know what it is like to be in the darkest struggle -- to make it through by studying and meditating on scripture. And God led me to Proverbs 26, with the first 10 or so verses talking about foolishness and wisdom....Lord, I need wisdom! To know that something will remove you from a dangerous or uncomfortable position, but not doing it, is foolishness. Wisdom learns from the past and applies the lessons learned.

I listened to Beth Moore this morning on the topic of "My Determined Purpose, 5/21". This is what she said

We haven't had a fresh work of God in months and maybe years because we're waiting for Him to have a fresh work in somebody else's life and He's going "You know what, they're praying for you!"
So tonight we're just going to do the 'my' thing - just 'my'. If you catch yourself even applying this to another soul, ask God to just stop you in your tracks tonight. Because this is about you and me. We cannot determine anybody else's purpose for them...

Laziness

The past week I've been so lazy. I have been cleaning up around the house. I have been going to work. I have been going out with friends. What I have not been doing is spending time in the Word like I had been. It's not like I was pouring over the Bible for hours a day, but I was reading at least some scripture daily, working on a bible study, reading a book on prayer. Even as I sit here, I feel as though I need to get back on track.....not because God is mad at me or out of some kind of religious duty....I truly miss that closeness and intimacy that I feel when my day is started with Him.

I think part of the reason I've drifted away from my reading is because it's really been hitting me how much I've been applying what I read to other people and not to myself. I would love to say that I'm taking those amazing words about patience, perseverance, love, hospitality -- and applying them to someone I love. But to my own shame, I'm using scripture to say "so and so doesn't do this or that". It makes me feel absolutely sick inside. It honestly brings tears to my eyes.

I do have a glimmer of hope beyond this negative attitude that has been creeping into my mind. All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. All things. I believe the Lord has magnified my awareness of this judgmental attitude that is in my heart -- so I can see it how he sees it. It makes him feel sick to see his children even think of each other that way. It hurts when the light shines on your own darkness.